Surgery was two weeks ago today. Know what I did to mark the occasion? I got in my car and drove to my office. Yep, I went to work. I'm not even scheduled to meet with the doctor to discuss going back to work until a month from now - so that's a pretty significant accomplishment. Before we alert the media, though, it's important to point out I'm not yet back to work... and I have a job that requires very little physical effort. But I was ready for this. I've been working from home, a couple of hours a day, for more than a week. I had a 2:00 conference call on the calendar and that seemed like a pretty good target to hit. So I went for it. I think it was great practice for next week - when I plan on going to the office every day, for at least a few hours each time.Some important caveats about today: I was very, very careful - and I'm still in a very vulnerable position. I was thinking at one point, in the parking lot at work, "What if I drop my keys?" I might as well be marooned on Mars. Seriously, what would I have done? When I started thinking about going in for the conference call, the plan was for Hettie to take me - then come back in a couple of hours to pick me up. This morning I thought I just might be up to driving myself. So I suggested to Hettie we "practice" me getting in and out of my car to see how it goes. I was surprised she went along with it, but I think she's learned it's OK to let me test my limits - and far better to do it with her blessing and her presence that for me to wait until she's not around and try it myself. So we approached that part carefully - and it worked pretty well. I was able to get in and out of my car without exceeding the motion limitations for my new left hip. Pretty cool. I drove up and down our street once, came back, and we talked about it. We both agreed I was up to this little outing.
I think it did us both a world of good. Hettie has been essentially on duty for 15 consecutive days. She deserved a break. Note to all of us: If you know anyone in a full time caregiver role, consider finding a way to give them a break sometime. I believe the term is "respite care" - giving a full time caregiver a little respite, even if it's just long enough to go on a quick shopping trip or hair appointment.
Getting to the office today did me a lot of good on several fronts - most
important, it gave me the confidence to believe I'll be able to handle going back to work next week, when I really need to. One of my employees and someone else who interfaces closely with our operation will both be on vacation next week - I really wanted to try to get back to the office while they're away. Now I know I can do it. They stepped up for me - I want to return the favor. I'll sleep better knowing I should be able to do that next week.Again, recalling the purpose of this blog was to provide some sort of record to someone who might be considering whether to go ahead with a similar operation, I want to make a couple of more points about today. First, I really think it's unreasonable to expect to be back to work in two weeks. In fact, I think it's almost irresponsible. I didn't exactly sail through my post-operative recovery, but I do think I've had a relatively easy time of it. And, oh, yeah, as I love hearing people say, I am pretty young. And, remember, today was little more than a visit. I did the conference call, met with my staff, and did some other things for a couple of hours. But, really, it wasn't going back to work.
It's also important not to put yourself in a scary position vis-a-vis driving and pain meds. I'd been on pain medication for more than a year before my surgery, so I know well how they affect me - and I know for a fact I wasn't risking my life nor anyone else's when I got behind the wheel. Sometimes I wish pain medication hit me a little harder than it does, but in this case it's a pretty good thing that it doesn't make me loopy. I think I'm the exception in this regard.
Speaking of driving, though, this is probably too early to be doing much of that. A simple fender-bender could be disastrous for my new joint. A flat tire would be much, much more than an inconvenience. I'm not sure if I could navigate my way around the self-serve gas pump if I had to. So, bottom line: Do as I say, not as I do. I did it, but it's not really a mark I would suggest trying to hit.
One final thought about all of this: Whenever you gain back some of your independence - whether it's two weeks or two months or two years - remember the person or people who helped get you here. For the first week after my surgery, certainly for those first few hours and days, I was as self-reliant as an infant. My wife worked 'round the clock to do everything for me. It's really only been the past 48 hours or so that I've been able to do much of anything. I can let the dogs out, fill their bowls with food (still can't put them on the ground), and I can do a pretty good job of getting in the way in the kitchen. That's about it - the rest is still all her. So when I drove off today, I considered the impact on her state of mind. I made it a point to get her a card and some flowers on my way home. (Try shopping on crutches - not easy!). She has done a remarkable job - and for me to have simply slipped off to the office and then come home without somehow marking that... well, that would have been selfish. I felt as if she needed something to mark the occasion of this two week point - of the remarkable accomplishment of my outing. Something to say "This chapter is closing - another is beginning - and none of it would be possible without you." So I did something small - flowers and a card - but at least it was something. And I'm glad I did. If all you can do it write someone a note, I think it would mean just as much. No matter how miserable you are after your surgery, there's something pretty remarkable about someone who sticks with you, reminds you to take your meds and do your exercises, takes your temperature, gives up their place in bed for a spot on the sofa, and basically reconstructs their life to serve you.So here's to you, Hettie... and here's to all the people who help people like me do stupid things like going in to the office two weeks after they got a new hip. In many ways, I think my part is the easy part in all this. She's been on high alert for two weeks now - and today marked the beginning - just the beginning - of a transition back toward normal life again someday. Mark the transition... remember it's not just a big deal to you, it's just as big a deal to your caregiver.
