Everything's in order for surgery Wednesday morning. We have to be at the hospital at 4:00 a.m. for 6:30 a.m. surgery. Crummy as that sounds, I prefer it to "back in the day" when you'd be admitted to the hospital several days before surgery - then have all the pre-op screening done as an in-patient. Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. It's my goal to get home as absolutely soon as possible after the procedure. If I possibly could get released that day, I would... but one night in the hospital is my goal. Think I can do it? I do.
One thing I did notice this final weekend before surgery: This worn-out ol' joint really hurts. I tried to explain it to Hettie yesterday - the way I'm now allowing myself to process just how much it hurts. It reminds me of carrying something really heavy - like on moving day or something - a burden that, if you stop and think about it, might really seem like it's just a little more than you should be wielding around. So you lift and go - not thinking about how much it weighs, just thinking about getting it where it needs to go. But as you get close, in those final moments before you set it on the ground (or drop it or dump it into the moving truck or whatever), there's this realization: I couldn't have carried this thing one more step - not one! Of course, you could have managed another step... maybe more... but there's something about reaching the end that allows you to feel, to realize, to measure the weight... to recognize that in just a little bit, you can put this thing down! And in that realization there is the impact of the difficulty involved, plus a boatload of gratitude that you didn't have to carry it any farther. Maybe that's what I'm feeling - the gratitude that I'm almost there.
Major thanks to those who've helped me do the heavy-lifting... specifically, Hettie, my wife (patience, advocacy, empathy, assistance, encouragement)... Paul, my nephew (yard-work and more) and my primary care doctor who gave me pain meds to keep functioning as well as possible.
One thing I did notice this final weekend before surgery: This worn-out ol' joint really hurts. I tried to explain it to Hettie yesterday - the way I'm now allowing myself to process just how much it hurts. It reminds me of carrying something really heavy - like on moving day or something - a burden that, if you stop and think about it, might really seem like it's just a little more than you should be wielding around. So you lift and go - not thinking about how much it weighs, just thinking about getting it where it needs to go. But as you get close, in those final moments before you set it on the ground (or drop it or dump it into the moving truck or whatever), there's this realization: I couldn't have carried this thing one more step - not one! Of course, you could have managed another step... maybe more... but there's something about reaching the end that allows you to feel, to realize, to measure the weight... to recognize that in just a little bit, you can put this thing down! And in that realization there is the impact of the difficulty involved, plus a boatload of gratitude that you didn't have to carry it any farther. Maybe that's what I'm feeling - the gratitude that I'm almost there.
Major thanks to those who've helped me do the heavy-lifting... specifically, Hettie, my wife (patience, advocacy, empathy, assistance, encouragement)... Paul, my nephew (yard-work and more) and my primary care doctor who gave me pain meds to keep functioning as well as possible.
